Real Life Guides – Dealing with other peoples expectations


Following the last post when I said that this came up in conversation at lunch and also following this picture on our Facebook and twitter getting a lot of agreement…we have decided to tackle this topic in our real life guide series….

What happens after cancer treatment ends? (assuming a good result) Life goes back to ‘normal’ right?  maybe not….

A lot of people tell us that the end of treatment can feel like the end of a conveyor belt – you have been so busy with treatment and appointments and focussed on getting to that last treatment, what happens when you get there? Instead of relief , happiness and ‘normal’  there is quite often abandonment, fear and anything but normal!

In Shine we call this the ‘should be era’  You should be back to normal – you should be happy – you should be….etc etc  We know what we ‘should be‘ but sometimes (quite often actually!) that is not reality.

And what happens if you don’t get good news following your treatment….what do people expect from you if you can’t say you are cured and ‘moving on’?

So we need your help….Share your experiences of what other people expected of you either during treatment or afterwards?

Have you had stupid comments, downright rudeness or have people completely ignored the fact that you are dealing with cancer?

What did you do about it? Smart comments, sulking, conversations? (or all of them!!)

By sharing your experiences, positive and negative, we hope to publish a ‘real life guide’ that shows that you are not along with these experiences…and gives you some pointers to cope well with this type of thing….

You can comment below or email

Thank you!

4 thoughts on “Real Life Guides – Dealing with other peoples expectations

  1. Such a great question! Many cancer survivors find that one barrier to a smooth transition out of cancer treatment is the reaction they get from friends and family. You are often expected to resume the roles and responsibilities you had before your diagnosis but chances are you might not feel up to it yet. You might feel pressured to do more than you can handle. I guess the key is to let others know what to expect of you. Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what you feel you can or can’t do.

    • Thanks Marie
      That’s great advice…wouldn’t it be great if we could motivate more and more people without cancer to read blogs like yours to get a real understanding of the issues and strength of impact?

  2. Vicky says:

    I feel very lonely sometimes as people don’t think to ask me how I am with the whole cancer ‘thing’ and the only way I can talk about it properly is to my cancer ‘buddies’ or my husband, though I don’t like to keep bringing it up around him either. I am still under close observation and, while the constant barrage of appointments have slowed down a bit, I still feel very much in the system, and have definitely not moved on yet whereas most people around me have! it’s a tricky one, definitely…

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