What happens at the Escape?

Between Jan 29th and February 1st, Shine ran our second Great Escape. For those of you who don’t know, the Escape is one of our best events – a three and a half day get together for young adults with cancer. We take over a hotel, we hang out, we talk about all the stuff we don’t usually get to talk about (like dating, depression and infertility) – and this year we hit the karaoke hard. You can see a video of our 2014 Escape here.

One of our Escapees, Minh, has written a bit about his experience at the Escape. Take a read – and get ready to sign up for Great Escape 2016!

2015 Escapee Minh Ly

2015 Escapee Minh Ly

The Lead Up

I began writing this as I sat on the train to head down Bournemouth for the Shine “Great Escape”. I’ve been in remission coming up to 8 years now and have pushed it to the back of my mind quite well. I can’t help but feel scared about spending four days talking and hearing about the subject cancer. I fear bringing up the past.

Why then, did I decide to go on the Escape? Well the fear didn’t really occur to me when I applied! Looking back on my application, I put that “I would like to spend time with people who have and are going through similar things that I’ve been through, particularly in my age range”.

I’d been to a couple of the Shine meet ups in London where I had met a few of the other “Escapees”. To help everyone get to know one another a little, we were all asked for a photo and a few paragraphs about ourselves to circulate. And to get us talking, a private group on Facebook was set up for us. It seems that I wasn’t the only one feeling slightly nervous.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but with clear skies from the window of the train, I hope for it to stay like this for the walk on the final day!

The Escape

“What happens at the Escape, stays at the Escape!” – an Escapee, 2015

The whole experience and organising was great! Shine knows not to jump into the heavy topics on the first day, with everyone tired from travelling and new to one another, so they ease us in with introductions, let us get to know each other, have us do magazine cutting collages, and share our first dinner together. It was a very warm welcome.

The following days, a number of different sessions were run, some for everyone and the others in parallel, allowing the Escapees to choose the sessions that was more relevant to them. I’ve only been to the standard conference-type events, where you sit in an hour long session just to hear a couple of people talk, so that was what I thought the Escape would be like – but it wasn’t. Instead, there would be a short talk on a topic and then some form of interaction, whether that was breaking away into smaller groups for a bit of discussion before feeding back to the group as a whole or individually.

For me the topics were interesting, thought provoking and sometimes hard-hitting.  I particularly found myself nodding (well inside my head!) to a lot that was said in a session about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I’ve bottled a lot up and not really spoken about cancer until it’s too late and I have some form of breakdown. This session told me that I’m not the only one having trouble after remission and also that this can happen not just straight after treatment but many years later.

There was a lot to take in over the four days and I didn’t get time to process it all during the time away. There is so much going on, but its not always full-on; there are plenty of tea and coffee breaks (much cake included!) and you get free time to explore Bournemouth, the beach (5 minutes away), chat with others or just relax in your room. In the evenings, to take your mind off it all you could play a bit of bingo (with a variety of alternate bingo number calls) or partake/listen to the rest of the gang hitting up the mic and doing a bit of karaoke.

There was a sadness to be leaving the others at the end of the Escape, but I also felt ready to go back to my life, and ready to take action on the next steps.

The end of the Escape, but the start of moving on.

During the Escape, I thought about what I was looking for, why I came to the Escape and what I really wanted. This kept changing from session to session, day to day. After the first day I was sceptical about whether I would get anything out of the Escape as my mind seemed so lost and confused.

So what did I get? Firstly, I got the realisation that I need to talk about what’s happened to me, to relive it and stop burying it in the back of my head, whether that be by writing a personal diary, blogging ,or talking to a counsellor. I will never be able to get rid of the memories of being ill, but everything I learned at the Escape will help to dampen the effect it has on me when it suddenly crops up in my head.

Second, in the other Escapees, I’ve found friends who understand and who I can talk to when it feels like there is no one. Everyone is very supportive of one another and even after the Escape that has continued online.

Overall I feel good! I’ve had a bit of weight off my shoulders and though I’m not sure how long this feeling will last, I now know what needs to be done.  I think this is the first time that I’ve been in a positive mind-set about my cancer since I got into remission.

What people get out of the Escape will differ depending on their experience, but one thing is for sure: you will meet a fantastic set of people. The Escape was full of laughs (and some tears) as well as fun, and amazing people. It’s something I needed and something I will never forget. Thanks Shine and big hugs to the Escapees of 2015!

Minh Ly is a member of Shine’s London network.  He was treated for lymphoma 8 years ago and is in remission.

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