Life – but not as you knew it: Living the dream

In September 2017, a group of intrepid climbers will make their way up Tanzania’s Mount Kilimanjaro while raising money for Shine. One of those making the journey is Rosie Hellawell, a member of Shine’s Dorset Network. Rosie currently blogging her way through cancer treatment (and the alphabet) and we’re delighted she’s written a blog for us about how she’s working to realise her dream of climbing the world’s tallest free-standing mountain once she’s finished treatment.  Take a read, share, and let us know what you think. And if you’d like to donate to Rosie’s trip, please check out her fundraising page here.

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Guest blogger Rosie Hellawell

DREAMS: Transforming Desires to Reality Everyday through Aspiration, Motivation and scary Statistics!

Desires

Since receiving my breast cancer diagnoses in June of this year I wouldn’t say that my long term desires have massively changed. I would still like to complete my degree, find a nice guy, travel the world, buy a house….that kind of thing. Nothing too out of the ordinary. I am hoping that cancer is just a little blip in obtaining those goals and that it is actually teaching me a lot and opening up new experiences that will be useful in the future.

Reality

However, I cannot escape the reality that my mortality has massively been called into question. For the first time I feel first-hand how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken away. I see members of support groups that I am part of, incl

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NED: No Evidence of Disease

uding Shine, being taken too early on an all too regular basis. So, in the spirit of coping with reality, I must now add ‘living for a reasonable amount of time’ to my list of desires. Unfortunately, as we all know there is no cure for cancer but to become a ‘Neddy’ (to have ‘no evidence of disease’) is now also up there with the best of the rest of my desires.

Everyday

There is no getting past it: living with cancer on a daily basis is no walk in the park. But having the support of others in my age range who are dealing with similar situations to me has proven invaluable.

A lot of control is taken away by this hideous disease but I choose to retain what control I do have by taking actions towards my future. This has been anything from getting involved with different support groups, trying new sports, fundraising, blogging and becoming an ambassador for awareness charities. But on a particularly overwhelming day it can mean simply writing a meal plan and a shopping list. I find everything is easier when broken down into smaller chunks. By doing that shopping and cooking that meal and freezing up portions for future rubbish days, I am once again back in the driving seat.

Aspiration

Aspiration is defined as ‘a hope of achieving something’ or finding the inner strength to achieve. As a wise man once said, (well actually it was Dave Pickles in his webinar last week!):

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Yes, I have just stolen his quote but it makes perfect sense! This picture speaks a thousand words to me. I refuse to let worries of failing hold me back. If I don’t try, I will never know what I am capable of and the last thing I want to do is look back at all the things that could have been if only I hadn’t let fear get the better of me. I would much rather look back at all the amazing things that I did manage to achieve.

The opportunity to climb Mount Kilimanjaro for Shine Cancer Support has come at the perfect time for me and has given me a focus to get me through my treatment and out beyond the other side. Not only will the trek itself be a huge physical and mental challenge, the fundraising and training will include targets to be met along the way. This will help with my recovery and will give me back some more of that lost sense of purpose and control.fb_img_1472033674460

Motivation

A cancer diagnoses is a pretty big motivation tool to get me off my backside and out of my comfort zone, saying ‘yes’ and taking on all the new and exciting opportunities that come my way. The fact that I can raise money for such an awesome charity at the same time is just the icing on the cake. It means that young people diagnosed with cancer in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s will also be able to feel the full force of fellowship and shared experiences.

Statistics

Scary statistics do definitely help to motivate me. My current ‘favourite’ is that I have 43% chance of not being here in 5 years’ time. I discovered this at 3am one morning when Googling (never a good idea when experiencing steroid-induced insomnia). While I realise that some stats should be taken with a pinch of salt and that, compared to some people, I should be grateful for this figure, the stats also serve the purpose of reminding me that life is precious and none of us know how long we have left. Life can all too often be too short, so I for one am going to go out there and grab every opportunity that comes my way…. what better way to start than up the very aptly named Shiny ‘Mountain of Light’?!

Rosie is a mature social work student who lives in Bournemouth. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in June 2016 and is currently undergoing treatment.

Rosie regularly blogs about her life with cancer here and her fundraising page for the Kilimanjaro trek next year can be found here.

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