Tips for looking for a job after cancer

Looking for a job can be daunting at the best of times, let alone after you’ve been diagnosed with a serious illness. At Shine, we know that work is hugely important to younger adults (not least because we need the cash), and we’ve got some really useful resources on our website.  But to help you further, this is the first of two recruitment blogs that Shine is publishing. Part one below provides insight into the recruitment process, while the second part (to be published in a couple of weeks) answers questions from the Shine community. We are very grateful to Ash Holmes for providing his insight and expertise! If you’d like to learn more or connect with him, please see the end of this blog.

Applying for a job and going through a recruitment process can be a daunting prospect at the best of times, let alone when returning from a career break or asking for flexible working. But the key is to demonstrate the skills, experience, knowledge, and therefore value you can bring to the role and organisation. Always ask yourself, ‘how can I add value to the role/company?’ and make sure that you articulate this to the hiring manager/recruiter.

Looking for a new role can be a job in itself. The candidates who tailor their CV and approach to go the extra mile will often be more successful – maybe not because they were the best fit, but because they demonstrated desire, passion, and the relevance of their skills, experience, and knowledge.

Going the extra mile doesn’t have to be complicated:

  • Call the company/recruiter before submitting your application. You might have to try for a few days! Find out the name of the person in charge of this position, and ask for their phone number or email. Ask them what will make an application stand out. What are the key challenges for the company that this role will solve? Most importantly, try to build a relationship and be memorable so that they recognise your name/CV!
  • Tailor the opening paragraph of your CV to name the company and role, highlighting the three key skills/experiences that make you suitable. Don’t be afraid to use bold text or underline to make your point.
  • After applying via a job board or website, follow up directly. Calling is generally best (remember, especially when you don’t know someone, it’s easier to build a relationship based on a conversation). If you’re struggling to call or feeling anxious, at the very least drop them an email to see how things are going.

One of the concerns I’ve heard a lot from people in Shine is how to deal with the question of cancer when applying for jobs. I asked my network on LinkedIn what they thought, and some of the responses are below. While this approach won’t be for everyone and talking openly about cancer is not easy (or legally required!), I hope these positive responses provide encouragement to you all.

  • “Personally I don’t like to see unexplained gaps in a CV but I don’t understand why any employer would be put off by the fact a candidate had survived cancer – which, in my mind, demonstrates physical and mental resilience and resourcefulness.  Don’t hide it be, proud of what you have achieved.”
  • “I know a young man who is currently under treatment for leukaemia and is being supported by his girlfriend. The courage, fortitude, tenacity and emotional resilience both of them are showing is a wonder to behold and fills me with admiration. They are both in their 20s and at the early stages of their respective careers. My advice would be not to put a career gap on your CV but to address it head-on and explain to the prospective employer what you have learned and how you have changed as a result of the experience.”

And speaking of networks, have you thought about how you can ask yours to help? Taking some time to map your network might just help you to find your ideal career. Candidates referred to organisations often secure an interview quicker and easier than candidates who apply via job boards or online.

LinkedIn was created specifically to connect with your business network, but Facebook might also provide job opportunities. If you do not have a LinkedIn profile I would recommend creating one and using their tools to connect with any contacts in your Facebookphone book, email address book, or at previous companies. I was recently looking for a new role myself and secured two interviews off the back of posting an updated on LinkedIn saying I am looking.  ASTRiiD, is also worth looking at.  It’s a new charity that links businesses with individuals with long-term health conditions; it’s fairly new but it’s growing and it’s definitely worth checking out for part-time or short-term roles. LinkedIn

Now for some reality. Unfortunately, not every organisation or recruitment company has the best process in place, and that means that you need to be resilient. You will not hear back from some, you will not receive specific feedback about why it is a ‘no’, and you will get frustrated. However, try to stay positive, focused and determined. Setting goals for what you want to achieve each day/week can help to keep you focused – whether that is roles applied for, hiring managers spoken to, or interviews secured.

I recommend creating a simple spreadsheet or list of each role you apply for. This will help you to be proactive in following up with a company, so you stand out from the competition. Too many candidates simply click ‘apply’ to as many roles as possible and never follow up. Be different, be memorable!

You might want to set up your spreadsheet like this:

Role Company Date applied Contact name, number, email Last update
Marketing Exec Tesco 12/12/2017 Dave Smith, 07700111222 Spoke on phone, Dave will come back to me this week


For more on looking for a job post-cancer, stay tuned! Our second blog will be out in two weeks!

Ash Holmes has spent the last seven years working in the recruitment industry. As well as working with thousands of candidates, Ash has created and delivered employability training to college students and individuals who are not in work, education or employment.  Ash has placed candidates with organisations as varied as Red Bull, Olympus KeyMed, Tottenham Hotspur, and Red Gate Software. He is more than happy to answer any follow-up questions and connect on LinkedIn.


Escaping in 2018!

Every year in January, we escape! Since 2014, Shine has run a Great Escape in Bournemouth. We’ve had amazing feedback over the years from all of our “Escapees” – young adults with cancer who tell us that over the 3.5 days that they’re together that they make life-long friends.  One of our 2018 Escapees, Rosie, has written about her experiences. Want to learn more? Read on! And if you’re interested, we’ll be opening applications for our brand new Manchester Escape in May!

IMG_0451When I was asked to write this blog about my recent experience at the Escape I had to think about my answer for a little while. The first blog that I wrote for Shine nearly a year and a half ago (just a couple of months after my diagnosis) had, looking back on it, a naively positive tone to it. At that time, as far as I could see, my diagnosis and treatment had a beginning, a middle and an end – upon which I would happily return to my old life and then climb Kilimanjaro (as you do).

Well, anyone who has lived with cancer for a while knows that cancer never really leaves you and that you have to go through a period of grieving for your old life and adjusting to a new normal. In my case, my medical team are unsure if my breast cancer has spread to my spine or not and I am therefore now on treatment indefinitely.

My body and my mind have been through a lot and with that I stepped back from blogging because I didn’t feel like I had anything very positive to write about. I didn’t want to be one of those whingeing cancer patients just going on about how sh*t everything is. But the truth is it is sh*t and that’s ok. And it’s also probably a bit more relatable than sickening positivity!

So, I found myself writing this blog and in the process of trying to come up with a catch title, I Googled ‘Escape’ and the first definition that came up was ‘break free’. It made me think of a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly which is kind of how I think of myself before and after the Escape.Blog 1

When the opportunity came to apply for the Escape, there was never any question in my mind that I was absolutely going to apply. Those I knew who had been before hadn’t stopped raving about it and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is a wonderful thing!

I was so excited when my spot was confirmed and I couldn’t wait to meet all of the other “Escapees”. I was pleased to find that I already knew some of them from Shine Camp. A private Facebook group was set up and we were also all asked to submit a picture and a short bio so that we could start getting to know each other before the big day came. This was also really useful for people who were anxious about attending because they were able to share their fears online and everybody was really supportive in return.

It took me a whole 6 minutes to arrive at The Grove Hotel in Bournemouth (I live locally), which is an awesome place for cancer patients and those with life threatening illnesses. As a group, we took over the whole hotel and brought the average age of their usual guests down significantly! The hotel staff were great and seem to enjoy this annual event which is now in its 5th year. The on-call nurse sometimes even doubles up as a bartender….nothing if not efficient!

There were about 30 of us in total including Shine staff, volunteers, and peer supporters.

Blog 2

The 2018 Escapees and peer supporters before the hike

After collecting our awesome goody bags we were ready to get started. The next few days were a full on mixture of laughing, crying, information gathering, team building, soul-searching, sharing epic-ness. We had entered into a safe bubble and at the end of it, although we were all mentally and physically exhausted, no-one wanted to leave and go back into the real world.

“Life changing”, “one of the best weekends of my life”, “four of the most exhausting but brilliant days I have ever experienced”, “fantastic”, “fabulous” “wonderful”, “amazing”, “incredible”, and “uplifiting” are just some of the words that were used in our post-Escape WhatsApp group to describe the weekend. If that doesn’t encourage you to apply for next year’s Escape, I’m not sure what will!

There were a number of workshops run at the Escape. One of them was titled ‘Debunking myths’ and I think this Russell Howard video sums it up quite nicely!

Another session was called ‘Living with Cancer’. Working in groups, we were encouraged to write down all of the things that we have lost due to cancer….needless to say that those pages were full very quickly and we could have carried on. Some common themes were dignity, confidence, friends, family, control, independence, future, certainty. Is it any wonder that so many of us experience some form of depression, anxiety and/or PTSD following diagnosis? There was ‘on the ground’ emotional support offered by both professionals and peer supporters for the entire weekend and hints, tips and signposting to other organisations given for the longer term. This session was the inspiration for my #onewordforcancer on World Cancer Day.

It is brilliant to have been able to bond with so many other young people who know what it’s like to pick our way through this cancer minefield. Humour is a really important coping mechanism and there was plenty of that in evidence at the Escape. Some of us also decided we should all carry red and yellow cards for those people in our life who get us down!

Saturday night brought with it the opportunity to let our hair (if it had grown back) down, thanks to a photo booth and karaoke provided by the awesome peer supporter Richard.

Blog 4

Photo booth

We were also honoured with a visit from our very own superhero Smash-It Man spreading his #smashitforshine mission. It really did have to be seen to be believed!


Smash it for Shine Man made an appearance!

Sunday involved a fun warm up, some stones (can’t give away all the secrets but mine involved guilt and being kind to myself) and a trek to Hengistbury Head. The Escape is offered free of charge to attendees but it costs approximately £1000 per person to put on, so the hike is a sponsored event to help pay for attendees next year. It’s not too late to sponsor us here. 

Before the weekend was up, there was just enough time to tell the person next to us what we appreciated about them. I was told that they appreciated my resilience in the face of changing goal posts which really meant a lot to me. Just today my oncologist said that it would be against medical advice to climb Kilimanjaro. But fear not those of you who have helped me raise an incredible amount for Shine because there are other options on the table! Watch this space….

It was then not goodbye but more like “see you later” because Shine are organising a reunion for all five years of Escapees in March.


Shelli was promised extra sponsorship if she did the hike in a Scully onesie. Done!

I would just like to take this opportunity on behalf of all of my cohort to say a massive thank you to all the staff and volunteers who are involved in this event. We know that so much behind-the-scenes stuff goes on and we really are forever grateful. Special mention to Christopher who stepped down as a peer supporter this year but remains as Chair of the Board of Trustees and an invaluable asset to the charity.

(Thank you also to everyone who let me use your photos, sorry I couldn’t fit them all in! xx)

Rosie is a member of Shine’s Dorset Network and was a 2018 Escapee. 

Lost and found: Friendship after cancer

Life isn’t easy if you’re a young adult with cancer.  So many things – work, family, energy levels and that sense of invincibility – change all at once. One thing that most of us would like to think is that our friends (especially the close ones) will stand by and step up when they’re needed.

But what if you’ve got cancer and a friend ghosts you? In our latest blog, one of our Shine members, Catherine, shares a letter she wrote to a someone who was a close friend before cancer, but who disappeared once her diagnosis was confirmed. Take a read, share, and do let us know what you think.

Dear person who was my friend before cancer,

We were so close. Together we drank tea and wine, exercised, and chewed the cud over life, the universe and everything. We knew each other’s secrets. We cried together. So naturally you were one of the first people I told about my diagnosis seven months ago.

Since then, you’ve pretty much disappeared. Daily messaging has morphed silently into monthly texts, and the message is always prefaced with “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch, I’ve been so busy….”. You might ask how I am, you might not. Occasionally you’ve suggested you might have time next month – but you never follow up and actually book something in. On the few occasions I’ve asked directly for help, you’ve been too busy.

friendships after cancer

Catherine with her two children

You once said to me “I know I haven’t been around much, but this is a long road, and when your help has tailed off, I’ll be there”. For months I believed this. I imagined you were waiting until you had time to do something ‘big’, something equal to the size of the heap of shite I am going through at the moment. I know you’re a perfectionist and I thought maybe you were just holding on until you found the time to deliver the perfect care package. But here I am, almost at the end of chemo, and I’m still waiting.

Other people have stepped up incredibly. People I hardly know have brought us food, taken the kids out, sent messages, diarised my chemo dates so they always remember to send a note. These are people with jobs and/or one, two or three kids, they are chief executives, teachers, full-time mums, opera singers…. busy people…. but somehow they have found time. My overwhelming feeling is one of gratitude and humility. But still, there’s you.

Actually, I don’t need you to have done any specific thing. I’ve had so much support it’s been amazing ,and most gaps have been filled. During the low moments of chemo, when I’ve thought about telling you how I feel, I imagine you asking what you should have done, and the things that pop into my mind sound so petty – why didn’t you just pop round for a cup of tea? Ask me if I needed anything when you went shopping? Waited for me on the school run so we could walk together? But it isn’t the absence of any of these things in particular. It’s the absence of all of them. It’s that I thought that you cared, that you would be there, that you had my back, and it makes me so sad that you don’t.

I’ve tried so hard to understand why; many people have suggested that perhaps my diagnosis is just too scary for you to deal with. But I know you and you don’t shy away from tough situations; if anything you seek them out. Now I’ve given up trying to work it out. It doesn’t matter. I won’t be able to trust you again, and I don’t blame cancer for that. This dumb disease may have created the situation but you chose how to respond to it. You chose to let your addiction to being busy dictate your priorities and to leave me at the bottom of the list when I needed you most. These days I struggle to even read your Facebook updates – it’s an important part of your life and you use it a lot – because it feels like out of the half hour you choose to spend on there each day, you could have taken 30 seconds out to drop me a text.

Other people, those who have rallied round, will be new friends and I rejoice in their love and support. But I’m still sad and angry that you chose to leave me. I hope if I’ve learned one thing from having cancer, it will be how not to make the same mistake.


Catherine says she “rants a lot on Facebook to my poor captive audience but this is my first blog!” (we thank her for sharing it!).  Catherine is a secondary school teacher who was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer. She has two children. 

If you’d like to chat to other young adults with cancer, why not join a Shine Network meet up, or our private Facebook group? For more info on Shine, visit our website

How running and cycling taught me to cope with chemotherapy

Having chemo? Fancy a run?

For many of us, the answer is a firm “no!”, but in our latest blog, Alison fills us in on how her approach to running and cycling has helped her to cope with her treatment for breast cancer, and we think there’s a lot of wisdom in her approach to breaking things down into manageable chunks. Take a read, let us know what you think – and please do share!


Blog contributor, Alison Carter

Keeping fit and being a healthy weight have been important to me most of my adult life. As a child and in my teens I was hopeless at all sports (always one of the last to be picked for any team), but I spent hours doing ballet and tap, which kept me fit, flexible and gave me an appreciation of what my body could do. I wasn’t an especially good dancer, but I loved it.

My twenties saw me working hard and travelling a lot for my job, with not much time for exercise. Then as I turned 30, I discovered running and a female-only gym. Both these things made being fit accessible to me, and I had a light bulb moment when I realised I didn’t have to be good at something to enjoy it. I am not fast (my best half marathon was 2 hours 6 minutes), but what I don’t have in speed I make up for in determination. And probably most importantly, I discovered the massive endorphin rush, the so called “runner’s high”, that exercise gave me. What a great stress buster!

A few years later, as my right knee started to fail me, a friend suggested we cycle from London to Paris for charity to mark turning 40. Really???140727_North_Downs_Sportive_0114

Before I knew it, I’d bought a bike and was clocking up miles and enjoying the same benefits that running had given me. The charity ride was tough, but awesome and I’m now an avid cyclist. Through all of this, I developed a real appreciation of how amazing my body is. I may never have a flat stomach, but I love what my body can do for me.

The cancer bomb

So, it was a massive curveball when this January I was diagnosed with breast cancer. How could this be? How could this amazing body have cancer in it? Ok, I’ve had stress in my life and enjoyed plenty of wine, but cancer? Me?


Having breast cancer treatment – with the cold cap!

I know some people feel their body has let them down when they get cancer, but I think it’s just really bad luck. I had no choice about getting cancer, but I can choose how I deal with it. My feeling is that how I treat my body is my best defence against the cancer coming back (my cancer is stage 2, grade 3). And I’m sure that being fit going in to breast cancer treatment has made a difference.

What cycling has taught me 

I’m just about to have my last round of chemotherapy (number six of FEC-T), to be followed by radiotherapy and Tamoxifen. Treatment is tough, but I have been able to bring to it what I have learned from running and cycling, and this has really helped me.

Treatment plans are subject to change, but it’ll be about eight months in total, so, I broke it in to chunks, as I would any long run or bike ride, with five clear stages:

  1. Surgery
  2. Chemo
  3. Radiotherapy
  4. Tamoxifen
  5. Recovery, the new me, after eight months.

When I cycle a long bike ride, such as Ride London, I train for it for months to prepare. Strangely, this is now how I view the last 15-odd years of my adult life: building a physical and emotional resilience that I never knew I’d need until the cancer bomb was dropped.

When I’m on a ride, I’ve learned that breaking it down to goals gets me through. I didn’t invent this, it’s standard practice; your brain usually gives up before your body does in such events, so finding the psychological plan is key. My first goal may be getting to the feed station at mile 19 where I know there’ll be flapjacks and so on. Experience has also shown me that I get a dip midway on all long rides and runs. I start to tire or pain or injuries start to niggle, and the end is not in sight yet.  In my head I desperately want to give up.

My treatment has been so very similar to this: one phase at a time, then one chemotherapy at a time, setting goals and rewards, and remembering that there will be a midway dip, but I’ll get through it.

After chemo round three I fell in to a huge dip, and I could happily have given up at that point. My hair was falling out, everything tasted of cardboard, my veins hurt and I had constant acid reflux and nausea. I was exhausted. Mentally and emotionally I was spent. But I took it one day at a time, just as I would have done on a tough run or ride.

On my good days, as I emerge from the side effects, I go for walks, do a spin class when I feel strong enough (I have to lie down for two hours afterwards!) and make sure I have goals that will give me a sense of purpose and achievement. As a result, during chemo I have done a Race For Life and cycled the Pink Ribbon Tour in London. I also ensure I have plans to see family and friends on my good days. These things exhaust me, but they fill my soul. I’ve learned to pace myself through cancer treatment just as I do through a run or bike ride.

My last chemo is next week. I know I’ll have a tough week where I lose myself to side effects, but one day at a time and it’ll be done. Then I can focus my energies on rebuilding myself ready for the next phase. That first finish line is almost in sight.

For many years, Alison was a fashion buyer. She now leads the creative photo studio for a large UK retailer. Working to to squeeze as much out of life as possible, she can often be found either on her bike, in a theatre, talking to her cat, at an art gallery, or having crazy fun with her niece and nephew. You can follow her blog here.  

For tips on how to support a friend with cancer, take a look at this blog entry. And for a list of things NOT to say to someone with cancer, read our blog here. 


10 ways to help a friend coping with cancer

We often post articles on Twitter and Facebook about what to say to a friend or family member who has cancer, or how you might help them. We’ve also noticed that these often get a huge number of hits! That got us wondering how the members of our growing Shine community have been helped by family and friends when they’ve been ill – so we asked them! We got some great responses and we’ve summarised them below. Have a friend in need? Take a look below and see if we can inspire you!

Message1. Let them know you’re thinking of them

“One of my friends sent me a card every week that I was in the hospital – and I was in there for a long time.  It was so nice to receive a surprise in the mail and to hear all her news.  I’m not sure she knows how much it meant to me but I’ve kept all the cards as a reminder of what a great friend she is”.

When you’re ill, sometimes just knowing that you’re still part of the land of the living is all you need. A text, a card, a phone call – no matter how brief – can make a huge difference to someone who hasn’t been out and about much, especially if you’re clear that you don’t expect a reply.  Being ill can be very lonely so knowing that your friends and family are still thinking of you can make a huge difference.

2. Cook

“A friend bought 12 homemade freezer meals at two separate points during chemo. Even though I didn’t feel like eating most of the time at least I knew there was something quick, easy and on hand for my husband and daughter. I was very touched at her kindness and effort”.

If you’re a whizz icookn the kitchen, there’s nothing quite like a homemade meal to perk up someone who isn’t feeling great. And even if they don’t feel like eating because treatment has done a number on their appetite, you might be easing their stress by making sure other members of their family have something quick and easy to eat when the hunger pangs hit.

3. Clean

cleaningNot big on cooking? How about cleaning? A lot of our Shine members mentioned that they’d had friends who had popped in to clean the bathroom and kitchen, or put fresh sheets on the bed (and do the laundry) while they flaked out in front of the tv.  There’s nothing quite like clean sheets and a nice fresh towel – and it doesn’t take very long either!

4. Hang out

“For me, I was happy just to have people to keep me company. I think as a young lad people don’t know what to say and some people found it easier to avoid me.  I was happiest when people just came round and played computer games or chatted, especially when I couldn’t do much else beyond letting them in!”

super-1138462_1920Your mate may not be up for a heavy night down the pub, but heading over to his or hers with a movie, a computer game or even a pack of cards can really boost someone’s spirits. Something that doesn’t require a lot of mental or physical energy – like hanging on the sofa – but keeps them involved in the world around them is often really appreciated.



5. Get them out and about

“I went to Glastonbury festival after my treatment and all my friends had to take it in turn to carry all my belongings and helping me hobble around. I felt guilty about ruining their fun, but in reality I genuinely felt they were happy to have me there.  This reassurance was enough for me.”

We get it – being around really sick people can be scary. But helping a friend by taking them out, even if they’re going to need extra support, can help them feel like they’re still participating in all the things that they should be doing.  Keep in mind that they might not be able to walk long distances or stay out late, but if you can pick them up and drive them to a restaurant, or help them carry their stuff without making them feel bad, you’re more than half way to making their day!

6. Entertain the kids


Let’s face it, kids can be exhausting at the best of times. If your friend has little ones, why not take them out for an afternoon or come over and cook them dinner while your friend has a nap? If they’re old enough, an afternoon movie or a trip to the park could give your friend a much needed break.  Or invite your friend and the kids over. You entertain them while your friend chills out with a cup of tea!

7. Head to the hospital

Something that everyone with cancer knows is that it’s time consuming – and hospital appointments can take ages.  If your friend is spending more time with the nurses and doctors than his/her mates, why not offer to keep them company? Ask if they’d like someone to take them to the hospital, pick them up, or hang out in between.  Having someone to gossip to can be a great distraction from the blood tests, scans and doctor chats.

8. Walk their dog

12376834_10156672952605263_2785600398398241687_nDoes your friend have a pooch? Why not ask if you can help walk the dog a few times a week? If your friend is happy for you to do it, see if you can get a few other friends together and organise a walking roster. On a good day, your friend might just want company for the walk. On a bad day they’ll be glad to have someone do the walking (and poo scooping!).

9. Organise a treat

“One of the most helpful things was planning something nice for my husband and I to do or go for a treat on the week before my next chemo. These did not cost much or sometimes nothing at all but it was something to focus on in the rotten days”.

“My friends always organised a get together on “chemo eve”, which was lovely.”

Cancer can be expensive! Not only are you missing work, but you’re spending your money heading to and from the hospital, on parking charges, and on extra blankets and heating to keep you warm. If you’re looking for a simple way to cheer someone up, why not plan a night out to the cinema or a comedy show? Book tickets when you know they’re free and either take them yourself or organise for others to go with them. (One minor note of caution: if you can, check if there’s cancer in the movie at all. You’d be surprised how many people in movies die of cancer. It’s not what you need when you’re going through treatment!).

10. Help them celebrate


Having the energy for Christmas, Easter or a birthday can be tough when you’re coping with a cancer diagnosis.  Does your friend need help buying a tree or getting the decorations out? It can be hard for people to know what they need but asking specifically how their planning for a holiday is coming can open up whole new possibilities for help! Buy the Easter eggs, plan the hunt, decorate the tree, light the candles, buy the cake….the options are practically endless.

Got more ideas? What have we missed? Let us know! Comment below or Tweet us @shinecancersupp



Coping with anxiety after a cancer diagnosis

As we dive deeper into 2016, we’ve noticed a lot of talk on our social media sites about anxiety.  Is it normal to feel anxious after a cancer diagnosis? What about after cancer treatment? To help you kick off the new year and get the best out of the next 12 months, we’re delighted that our longtime friend, supporter and all round Shiny person Emily Hodge (aka Coaching Emily) has written a blog about coping with anxiety after cancer. Take a read below, try out some of the techniques – and know that you’re not alone.

Coach Emily Hodge

Coach Emily Hodge

Having worked in both the NHS and health charities and then experiencing cancer myself, I have seen how prevalent anxiety is among the general population. It can be event more prevalent within the cancer community, given the uncertainty and the threat to life that a diagnosis brings.

In my coaching and therapy work with clients, we discuss and use a range of techniques that look at supporting ourselves with anxiety and moving forward in spite of it. They’re not ‘cures’ for anxiety but rather activities or routes to take depending on someone’s circumstances. Here are a few of the many.

Recognise anxiety

Being aware of how you’re coping and what reactions you have to certain situations are a start to recognising anxiety. Often we get so used to a state of mind that we forget to assess it, but understanding our tolerance for it is important. We might think it’s normal to cry in the toilets at work once a week, or to feel anger and guilt all the time but it doesn’t have to be – this might be anxiety rearing it’s head and you might need support with it.

Take a look here and here for trusted sources regarding signs and symptoms of anxiety.

Talk about anxiety

If you’ve recognised it and realise it’s not something you can cope with right now, please see your GP or another trusted person for guidance. Talking about it with someone you feel comfortable with might be the step that helps you next.

Slow down and breathe

Before we can take any big action, we may need to catch ourselves and slow down. Stopping, breathing and slowing our racing thoughts can be the first thing we choose to do when we recognise something uncomfortable. We might want to run (the so-called fight or flight response) but if we can stop rather than rush around, it can be the beginning of a different relationship with our thoughts and feelings.

One quick technique to try is the “5-5-5” breathing technique:

  • Stand up with both feet stable on the floor
  • Look forward with eyes into the distance or closed and hands by your sides
  • Take a deep breath in for 5 seconds
  • Hold this breath for 5 seconds
  • Exhale for 5 seconds
  • Repeat this 10 times (or as long as you feel comfortable) and then check out how you’re doing

Recognise when we last felt less anxious

When we’re in a calmer state (maybe after the breathing or perhaps completely separately), take a moment to think about the times when your anxiety is less present. What are these situations, what time of day do they occur, what happened just before and just after? These indicate times that you feel different, bringing in an awareness of how your mood changes and can help you to recognise that you don’t feel the same way all the time.

Recognising how you’re feeling is important with anxiety because it can trick us into thinking that we’re always like this, and it never changes. If we’re able to see that it does indeed change over time, then we can start to understand our triggers and think about how we could respond differently in the future.

Work out what you love 

Similar to the above, spend some time thinking about what you love. What is it that makes you lose track of time, the thing that helps you forget yourself, the activities or places that you simply love? How possible is it to go to or get more of these in your life? If it doesn’t feel very possible, what might need to be moved or changed to make it more possible? What does even just thinking of this activity do for you?

Get outside

People can get evangelical about being around nature but there’s a reason for it! Evidence shows that being around and able to see green aids feelings of calm. Find the bush at the end of your street if there’s no park to go to – what is it doing? How does it smell, look, feel? It’s a small, small thing but have a go and see what happens.

Equally, go outside and look up – what do you see, hear, smell, and feel? When did you last look up outside?

Finally – walking (however you enjoy it – on your own, with friends or family, a dog, a podcast, music) is a great way to move us into a different state.


More formal support can come in many forms – there are talking therapies such as counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which may be available through your local NHS, other therapies such as mindfulness, or body work like acupuncture, the Emotional Freedom Technique, massage, or Reiki. We’re all different and knowing what suits us is important, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you need help to find the right support, try talking with a friend, asking a therapist for a free 20-minute phone consultation, or making a GP appointment.


Many people might think of anti-anxiety drugs or anti-depressants as a last resort, but they can be a brilliant way to help with the change in chemistry that is going on in the body, particularly following chemotherapy, radiotherapy or surgeries. Medication may not be for everyone, but for others it might be just the route to be able to access other support in the first place.

Finally we might feel pressure to ‘solve’ our anxiety because there are so many apparent routes to doing so. But it can be important that we first understand what it is we are dealing with, and how we’re coping before we’re ready to do anything about it. Give yourself a pat on the back for reading this and look at it again when you’re ready.

Emily is a health psychology specialist who worked in the NHS before her own cancer diagnosis. She now runs private one-to-one, group coaching and therapy to support people during and after challenging times in their lives. She’s worked with Shine for over five years and regularly sees cancer clients. Check out her anxiety vlog and website here



Fighting talk: Why I’m not ‘battling’ my cancer

Most of us who have been diagnosed with cancer will be familiar with the war terminology that frequently accompanies a diagnosis. Fight, battle, war – they’re all words that get thrown around when you’re going through treatment or living with cancer. But are these words helpful? What do they really mean? In our latest blog, Sarah Carlin explains how she feels about this terminology and why she’s not ‘fighting’ her cancer.  We’d love to know what you think about the words that are used to describe a cancer experience – tweet us on @shinecancersupport or email us on Happy reading!

JoJo Gingerhead, was a member of Shine who blogged prolifically about her experience of living with a secondary triple negative breast cancer diagnosis. I never knew Jo personally, but I admired her from afar, not least for her aim of “trying to find light in a dark and scary situation without using the words fight, battle, journey or survivor”.

Uncle Paul

Sarah and her Uncle Paul

The rhetoric around cancer was a bugbear of mine long before I received a diagnosis. I had a much-loved uncle who passed away from a brain tumour at the age of 28, and I’ve always been pretty sure it wasn’t because he didn’t fight hard enough. Yet it’s seemingly impossible to talk about cancer without using militaristic language.

Many organisations use this kind of language to get people on side. Reading slogans like “we’re coming to get you”, you’d be forgiven for thinking that cancer was some sort wildcard despot rather than a complex range of different diseases.

Cancer is not some sort of playground bully you just need to square up to, yet so many people seem to think it is. I’ve had someone tap their head and tell me not to worry because “it’s all up here”, as though all you need to do is stick on the Rocky theme tune and channel your own determination in order to stop those cells dividing. Something, I’ll wager, they’d never say to someone with COPD, or heart disease, or HIV.

There’s also the problem of confirmation bias. Many people who survive the disease talk about their determination not to die, so the idea that this somehow was a factor in their survival seeps into the public consciousness. But the will to live is a pretty much universal human characteristic. You obviously don’t hear from the people who were equally determined, but who died anyway because that’s how disease works.

Sarah Carlin photo 1

Blogger Sarah

Another issue is that nobody “wins” their battle against cancer, or certainly not in the way the media portrays it anyway.  Few people finish chemo, fist-bump the nurses and declare themselves triumphant. You crawl home and spend the next weeks, months, years sh*tting yourself that it’s going to come back. Often it does. If it doesn’t, then maybe, just maybe, after five years has elapsed you might tentatively feel like the danger has passed. There’s no VE day, no calling the troops home, no bunting. This is a disease in which you can never be wholly sure that the gruelling treatment you’ve just endured was enough. Sure, you may have vanquished the enemy on the frontline, but who knows if there are little metastatic guerrillas regrouping and waiting to re-launch when the time is right? My own initial brush with cancer was as close to a clear cut victory as anyone could get. Successful resection, no lymph node or vascular involvement, stage 1 – peace for our time. The bombs fell a year later, however, when it returned in not one but seven places.

Sometimes, the idea that I can fight my cancer through sheer force of will is seductive – I can completely understand why so many people choose that as a way of coping. The thought that you could die so young of this disease just seems like such an insult, so outrageous that the adrenaline runs through your veins and yes, you want to fight. As in most instances in which your life is in danger, the fight or flight instinct has kicked in.

But I know that I can’t fight my cancer. If I live, it won’t be because of anything I’ve done or felt. It will be because of a brilliant consultant, effective treatment and dumb good luck.

So whenever someone tells me I can fight it, it makes me wince – not just for me, but also on behalf of my uncle and on behalf of the many others who are no longer with us, like JoJo.

Sarah Carlin is 31 and works as freelance in PR and as a copywriter. You can read her other blog for Shine (about the perils of reading about cancer on the Internet) here