Escaping in 2018!

Every year in January, we escape! Since 2014, Shine has run a Great Escape in Bournemouth. We’ve had amazing feedback over the years from all of our “Escapees” – young adults with cancer who tell us that over the 3.5 days that they’re together that they make life-long friends.  One of our 2018 Escapees, Rosie, has written about her experiences. Want to learn more? Read on! And if you’re interested, we’ll be opening applications for our brand new Manchester Escape in May!

IMG_0451When I was asked to write this blog about my recent experience at the Escape I had to think about my answer for a little while. The first blog that I wrote for Shine nearly a year and a half ago (just a couple of months after my diagnosis) had, looking back on it, a naively positive tone to it. At that time, as far as I could see, my diagnosis and treatment had a beginning, a middle and an end – upon which I would happily return to my old life and then climb Kilimanjaro (as you do).

Well, anyone who has lived with cancer for a while knows that cancer never really leaves you and that you have to go through a period of grieving for your old life and adjusting to a new normal. In my case, my medical team are unsure if my breast cancer has spread to my spine or not and I am therefore now on treatment indefinitely.

My body and my mind have been through a lot and with that I stepped back from blogging because I didn’t feel like I had anything very positive to write about. I didn’t want to be one of those whingeing cancer patients just going on about how sh*t everything is. But the truth is it is sh*t and that’s ok. And it’s also probably a bit more relatable than sickening positivity!

So, I found myself writing this blog and in the process of trying to come up with a catch title, I Googled ‘Escape’ and the first definition that came up was ‘break free’. It made me think of a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly which is kind of how I think of myself before and after the Escape.Blog 1

When the opportunity came to apply for the Escape, there was never any question in my mind that I was absolutely going to apply. Those I knew who had been before hadn’t stopped raving about it and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is a wonderful thing!

I was so excited when my spot was confirmed and I couldn’t wait to meet all of the other “Escapees”. I was pleased to find that I already knew some of them from Shine Camp. A private Facebook group was set up and we were also all asked to submit a picture and a short bio so that we could start getting to know each other before the big day came. This was also really useful for people who were anxious about attending because they were able to share their fears online and everybody was really supportive in return.

It took me a whole 6 minutes to arrive at The Grove Hotel in Bournemouth (I live locally), which is an awesome place for cancer patients and those with life threatening illnesses. As a group, we took over the whole hotel and brought the average age of their usual guests down significantly! The hotel staff were great and seem to enjoy this annual event which is now in its 5th year. The on-call nurse sometimes even doubles up as a bartender….nothing if not efficient!

There were about 30 of us in total including Shine staff, volunteers, and peer supporters.

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The 2018 Escapees and peer supporters before the hike

After collecting our awesome goody bags we were ready to get started. The next few days were a full on mixture of laughing, crying, information gathering, team building, soul-searching, sharing epic-ness. We had entered into a safe bubble and at the end of it, although we were all mentally and physically exhausted, no-one wanted to leave and go back into the real world.

“Life changing”, “one of the best weekends of my life”, “four of the most exhausting but brilliant days I have ever experienced”, “fantastic”, “fabulous” “wonderful”, “amazing”, “incredible”, and “uplifiting” are just some of the words that were used in our post-Escape WhatsApp group to describe the weekend. If that doesn’t encourage you to apply for next year’s Escape, I’m not sure what will!

There were a number of workshops run at the Escape. One of them was titled ‘Debunking myths’ and I think this Russell Howard video sums it up quite nicely!

Another session was called ‘Living with Cancer’. Working in groups, we were encouraged to write down all of the things that we have lost due to cancer….needless to say that those pages were full very quickly and we could have carried on. Some common themes were dignity, confidence, friends, family, control, independence, future, certainty. Is it any wonder that so many of us experience some form of depression, anxiety and/or PTSD following diagnosis? There was ‘on the ground’ emotional support offered by both professionals and peer supporters for the entire weekend and hints, tips and signposting to other organisations given for the longer term. This session was the inspiration for my #onewordforcancer on World Cancer Day.

It is brilliant to have been able to bond with so many other young people who know what it’s like to pick our way through this cancer minefield. Humour is a really important coping mechanism and there was plenty of that in evidence at the Escape. Some of us also decided we should all carry red and yellow cards for those people in our life who get us down!

Saturday night brought with it the opportunity to let our hair (if it had grown back) down, thanks to a photo booth and karaoke provided by the awesome peer supporter Richard.

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Photo booth

We were also honoured with a visit from our very own superhero Smash-It Man spreading his #smashitforshine mission. It really did have to be seen to be believed!


Smash it for Shine Man made an appearance!

Sunday involved a fun warm up, some stones (can’t give away all the secrets but mine involved guilt and being kind to myself) and a trek to Hengistbury Head. The Escape is offered free of charge to attendees but it costs approximately £1000 per person to put on, so the hike is a sponsored event to help pay for attendees next year. It’s not too late to sponsor us here. 

Before the weekend was up, there was just enough time to tell the person next to us what we appreciated about them. I was told that they appreciated my resilience in the face of changing goal posts which really meant a lot to me. Just today my oncologist said that it would be against medical advice to climb Kilimanjaro. But fear not those of you who have helped me raise an incredible amount for Shine because there are other options on the table! Watch this space….

It was then not goodbye but more like “see you later” because Shine are organising a reunion for all five years of Escapees in March.


Shelli was promised extra sponsorship if she did the hike in a Scully onesie. Done!

I would just like to take this opportunity on behalf of all of my cohort to say a massive thank you to all the staff and volunteers who are involved in this event. We know that so much behind-the-scenes stuff goes on and we really are forever grateful. Special mention to Christopher who stepped down as a peer supporter this year but remains as Chair of the Board of Trustees and an invaluable asset to the charity.

(Thank you also to everyone who let me use your photos, sorry I couldn’t fit them all in! xx)

Rosie is a member of Shine’s Dorset Network and was a 2018 Escapee. 

How pets can help you cope with cancer

When the going gets ruff, the woofs get going: How pets help us to cope with cancer

Sarah Carlin (33) who has small bowel cancer and lives in Liverpool, explores how Shine members’ furry Florence Nightingales are helping them live better with cancer…

I’ve been dealing with cancer since 2013. It’s as about as much fun as it sounds.

During a particularly dark period recently, I realised that one of the few things capable of raising a genuine smile was my dog Elsie, a Cairns/Yorkie cross with about nine teeth and breath like the bottom of a fishing trawler.

My 50th attempt at taking a selfie with Elsie

Sarah and Elsie

I then remembered all the other times that pets had helped me through. Pre-diagnosis, when I would spend hours lying in bed, throwing up industrial amounts of green bile into a washing-up bowl, my mum’s cat Flo – who, it has to be said, would probably at that stage not have said hello to me in the street if she were human – would come to my bedroom and gently knead me with her little paws. When I was feeling better again, she’d get back to blanking me. During chemo, our family dog Bunk – a rescue Staffie cross who definitely missed his calling as a late 90s emo – would come up to my room and lay a heavy black paw on my stomach, as if to say “I understand”.

With a hunch that I wasn’t the only one being looked after by my pets in this way, I asked the Shine community about their own experiences with furry friends in Shine’s closed Facebook group. It quickly turned into a love-fest about all things on four legs, for the following reasons:

1. They’re a reason to get out of bed (and the house)

Alison's SuzyQ


Owning a pet dog is like having a weird hybrid of a physical therapist, life coach and in-house dirty-protestor. Crippled by fatigue? So depressed you don’t want to get out of bed? Struggling after a big operation? They don’t want to hear it. They want you out of those PJs and taking them round the block, stat, or they won’t be responsible for the consequences. And they can’t promise that those consequences won’t be coming via their digestive system either. And even pets that don’t need to be walked – like cats and rabbits – need to be fed and watered.


The positive impact that this responsibility has can’t be

Fran's George


understated. One Shine member, Julie, remembered that her dog Izzy helped her recovery from an operation for bowel cancer by getting her active again just seven days after surgery. Fran, diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukaemia at 29, said her cat George was her “reason for getting out of bed every day, no matter how rubbish [she feels].” And Alison, who had treatment for breast cancer recalled that her cat SuzyQ gave her “a sense of purpose and unconditional companionship”.

2. You can share in their joy – without the complicated feelings

When you have cancer, especially as a younger person, you often feel disassociated from your peers. It’s great spending time with your friends, but sometimes it’s tough seeing the life you could have been living if the C-bomb hadn’t been dropped on you. You know, having babies, having hair, being able to get travel insurance without selling a kidney (which nobody would want to buy anyway, obvs) or just being able to plan something in three months’ time without factoring in worst-case-scenario scan results. Basically, whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re with, cancer is there in the background like a sinister ostinato, reminding you that life isn’t as you hoped it would be – something that can be really destructive to your relationships and your state of mind.

How pets can help you cope with cancer

Your interactions with pets will carry no such baggage, however. You can truly be in the moment and share in their enthusiasm for life, whether that’s chasing a ball, trying to swallow a piece of cake whole or their absolute joy when you walk through the door after-surely-abandoning-them-forever (a.k.a. going to the shops for half an hour). You can share in their perfectly mundane triumphs with no complicated feelings. Unless, say, you had a real love for Chappie dog food but ate too much after a chemotherapy session once and now you’ve gone right off it. Or you used to love chasing mice but your oncologist has told you to knock it on the head because it’s an infection risk.

3. They bring the lols

How pets can help you cope with cancer

Elsie makes me laugh every day, whether through her world-class meerkat impression, her iron will or the fact that whenever we walk past the British Legion, she always, inexplicably, tries to go in (FFS Elsie, you’re barred!). And I’m not alone. Lisa, who has bone cancer, said her little dog Coco “brings a smile to my face every day…brings happiness and makes every day worth living.” And Christine, who has bowel cancer, said that her bunnies, Marigold and Juniper, “always make me smile even if I’m feeling awful.”

Christine's Marigold & Coco

Marigold and Juniper


4. They really care

I was blown away by the number of people in our Facebook who shared stories of the TLC given to them by their pets. There were dogs trying to ease painful legs, horses sensing when their owner was having a bad day and amazingly, given the fact that they have reputation for being the haughtiest of the household pets, an awful lot of very caring cats who would be a real asset to the NHS.

Lyndsey, who has Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, remembered that her kitten, Stinky – who she adopted during treatment – would carefully settle into the crook of the arm that didn’t have a PICC line in it and purr her to sleep. Another Shiny, Jo, who has metastatic breast cancer said that her “Bichon baby” Pixie who “curls up with me in bed when I feel poorly and keeps the cuddles coming when I feel low” helps her cope with her situation.

Jo's Pixie


5. Sometimes, it seems they can perform their very own PET scans (boom!)

One thing I wasn’t expecting when I put my post up was the number of people who had stories about their pet appearing to try to alert them to the fact they had cancer. Tracey remembered that her cat would always lie on the breast that had cancer pre-diagnosis. Anne’s dogs Buster and Lucky started to repeatedly snuggle into her left armpit, which prompted her to do a self-check and find a lump that was eventually diagnosed as aggressive triple negative breast cancer. And one of Danielle’s dogs kept digging on her leg so much that it prompted her to go to the doctor in case she had some sort of infection. It was actually a chondrosarcoma. That animals can sniff out cancer is actually a recognised phenomenon; some sharp-nosed pets are already being used to assess urine tests in the NHS. You can read more about the science behind it here.

We loved talking about our animals and I’m so glad that I – and so many other Shine members – have pets that are helping us through some very tough times. Here’s to a very furry Christmas and a yappy New Year!

PS We couldn’t fit all the pet photos that were submitted into this story. But they’re below if you want a quick look at the Shine Super Pets!

Lost and found: Friendship after cancer

Life isn’t easy if you’re a young adult with cancer.  So many things – work, family, energy levels and that sense of invincibility – change all at once. One thing that most of us would like to think is that our friends (especially the close ones) will stand by and step up when they’re needed.

But what if you’ve got cancer and a friend ghosts you? In our latest blog, one of our Shine members, Catherine, shares a letter she wrote to a someone who was a close friend before cancer, but who disappeared once her diagnosis was confirmed. Take a read, share, and do let us know what you think.

Dear person who was my friend before cancer,

We were so close. Together we drank tea and wine, exercised, and chewed the cud over life, the universe and everything. We knew each other’s secrets. We cried together. So naturally you were one of the first people I told about my diagnosis seven months ago.

Since then, you’ve pretty much disappeared. Daily messaging has morphed silently into monthly texts, and the message is always prefaced with “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch, I’ve been so busy….”. You might ask how I am, you might not. Occasionally you’ve suggested you might have time next month – but you never follow up and actually book something in. On the few occasions I’ve asked directly for help, you’ve been too busy.

friendships after cancer

Catherine with her two children

You once said to me “I know I haven’t been around much, but this is a long road, and when your help has tailed off, I’ll be there”. For months I believed this. I imagined you were waiting until you had time to do something ‘big’, something equal to the size of the heap of shite I am going through at the moment. I know you’re a perfectionist and I thought maybe you were just holding on until you found the time to deliver the perfect care package. But here I am, almost at the end of chemo, and I’m still waiting.

Other people have stepped up incredibly. People I hardly know have brought us food, taken the kids out, sent messages, diarised my chemo dates so they always remember to send a note. These are people with jobs and/or one, two or three kids, they are chief executives, teachers, full-time mums, opera singers…. busy people…. but somehow they have found time. My overwhelming feeling is one of gratitude and humility. But still, there’s you.

Actually, I don’t need you to have done any specific thing. I’ve had so much support it’s been amazing ,and most gaps have been filled. During the low moments of chemo, when I’ve thought about telling you how I feel, I imagine you asking what you should have done, and the things that pop into my mind sound so petty – why didn’t you just pop round for a cup of tea? Ask me if I needed anything when you went shopping? Waited for me on the school run so we could walk together? But it isn’t the absence of any of these things in particular. It’s the absence of all of them. It’s that I thought that you cared, that you would be there, that you had my back, and it makes me so sad that you don’t.

I’ve tried so hard to understand why; many people have suggested that perhaps my diagnosis is just too scary for you to deal with. But I know you and you don’t shy away from tough situations; if anything you seek them out. Now I’ve given up trying to work it out. It doesn’t matter. I won’t be able to trust you again, and I don’t blame cancer for that. This dumb disease may have created the situation but you chose how to respond to it. You chose to let your addiction to being busy dictate your priorities and to leave me at the bottom of the list when I needed you most. These days I struggle to even read your Facebook updates – it’s an important part of your life and you use it a lot – because it feels like out of the half hour you choose to spend on there each day, you could have taken 30 seconds out to drop me a text.

Other people, those who have rallied round, will be new friends and I rejoice in their love and support. But I’m still sad and angry that you chose to leave me. I hope if I’ve learned one thing from having cancer, it will be how not to make the same mistake.


Catherine says she “rants a lot on Facebook to my poor captive audience but this is my first blog!” (we thank her for sharing it!).  Catherine is a secondary school teacher who was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer. She has two children. 

If you’d like to chat to other young adults with cancer, why not join a Shine Network meet up, or our private Facebook group? For more info on Shine, visit our website

getting hit by a bus

10 things you shouldn’t say to someone with cancer

Okay, we get it. Sometimes, talking to your friend or relative with cancer feels awkward. What do you say? What if you say the wrong thing? How can you help?

Recently, a discussion in our private Facebook group took off – “What’s the silliest thing someone has ever said to you about cancer?” asked David, one of our members. More than 110 comments later, we felt like we had to share some of them with the world! Take a read and let us know what you think. If you’ve got cancer, we hope you’ve managed to avoid these comments (all of these are real, by the way – we haven’t made them up!).  If you’re supporting someone with cancer, we know you want to help. Stuck for words? Sometimes admitting, “I don’t know what to say” can be the best way forward.

1. “You don’t look like you have cancer”.

In the movies or on TV, the person with chemo usually spends their days losing their hair and looking increasingly ill. But these days, a lot of cancer drugs don’t make you lose


All of these people have, or have had cancer.

your hair, and many people don’t have chemotherapy anyway. Some people end up on “watch and wait” without treatment right away, while surgery and radiotherapy are frequently given for more localised cancers (or even advanced cancer if they can halt the spread). The key message here? A lot of people don’t “look” like they have cancer but just because you can’t see the side effects of the cancer or treatment doesn’t mean they aren’t there. A simple “How are you feeling?” can be a much better, and more sensitive way to start a conversation.

2. “So, how long have you got?” or “I’ll help you with your bucket list.”

We all know that cancer can cause death. But if, when, and how that might happen isn’t usually something that we want to talk about. When you’re asking your friend or relative about their illness, ask yourself whether your questions are more for your own information (read: nosiness) or to help them.Bucket List

Most people with cancer aren’t given a “timeline”, and even if they are, they might not want to share it. If your friend is openly creating a bucket list, great, but generally speaking it’s good to keep the death talk to a minimum. Journalist Helen Fawkes created a “List for Living” after she was diagnosed; this can be a much more positive way to think about treating someone with cancer to a nice experience than a “bucket list”.

3. “You don’t need chemo…..I know someone who cured their cancer with [insert questionable cure here]” or “Chemo doesn’t work – it’s just a plot by Big Pharma to make money” or “Have you tried turmeric?”

Wheat grass

This will not cure your cancer.

So, your friend is prepping to start chemo and this seems like a good time to tell them about an article you read about someone who shunned chemo and cured their Very Deadly Cancer with kale and wheatgrass, right? Wrong.

Chemo can be tough but it saves lives, and whether you agree with your friend’s treatment decisions doesn’t matter. Eating more fruits and vegetables, and getting more exercise is certainly good for us and there is some evidence that it can help reduce rates of relapse in certain cancer types. But if the person you’re supporting is undergoing chemotherapy, consider carefully whether it’s definitely the right time to bring up that raw food diet that your aunt’s sister’s best friend used to cure her dog’s leukaemia. It’s probably not.  Instead, why not make them a nice meal and take it over to their house? (Only include kale if you know they like it!).

4. “That’s a good kind of cancer” or “At least you’ve lost weight. There’s a silver lining in everything, right?”

When you’re diagnosed with a life-threatening disease it’s pretty hard to find any silver linings. Self-esteem can take a massive hit, so try to avoid making comments about someone’s appearance or weight or downplaying the seriousness of what they’re facing. Anyone diagnosed with cancer is likely to feel pretty shocked by the diagnosis. Sure, some cancer types are more curable than others, but as most oncologists will tell you, every case is different. Telling someone they’ve got a “good cancer” risks minimising their feelings. A better approach might be to say something like “I’m so sorry about your diagnosis. Do you want to talk?”

5. “Cancer is caused by past trauma and stress”

There is little good quality evidence that stress and cancer are linked and if your friend has cancer, they’re probably stressed because, you know, they’ve got cancer. Ask yourself what you can do to relieve their stress. Can you take them out for a film or a drink? Cook them dinner? Walk their dog? It doesn’t need to be a big thing – even small gestures can mean a lot. Take a look at our blog about how you can help.

6. “I’ve heard that’s a really bad way to die” or “I know someone who died of that.”

As with point 2 above, avoiding death talk is generally the way to go. Talking about how bad/painful/awful death might be is a big no no. And telling your friend or relative with cancer that you know someone who died of the exact same thing is also to be avoided. Know someone who has lived 20 years after a diagnosis? Feel free to mention them! Those are the stories we like.

7. “Managing someone with cancer will look good on my CV” or “What about me?”

If someone you know has cancer, it’s time to think about all the great ways that you can support them. A cancer diagnosis is about the person who has cancer and those immediately surrounding them (partners, parents, children). This can feel odd if you’re used to getting support from your friend or relative but think of it as a good opportunity to repay all the love and support that you’ve received in the past. Unsure who to turn to for support? Take a look at this handy “ring theory” guide and remember: support in, dump out!

Ring Theory

8. “If you need anything, just let me know.”

We know it might sound odd, but often, we don’t know what we need, and even if we do, it can feel scary to ask. Rather than making your offer general, try to make it a bit more specific. Ask if you can make dinner on a Tuesday, drive your friend to their next appointment, or do their grocery shopping next week. By making it specific, you’re taking away the burden of coming up with something – and that is helpful.

9.“Everyone dies” or “Any one of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow”.


“I might get hit by a bus tomorrow”.

You’re right – everyone does die. But the difference with cancer, especially cancer at a young age, is that death goes from being a vague hypothetical, to something that is giving you a cold hard slap in the face. That bus everyone’s talking about? Your friend has already been hit by it. They’re just waiting to see whether they’ll survive, and they’re likely really scared. It’s great to ask someone if they want to talk but sometimes distraction can be the greatest gift. Seen a funny cat video online? Now may be the time to send it over (assuming you’ve already checked on how they’re feeling).

10. “So, you’re all better now, right?”

One of the things that few people talk about is the long-term effects of cancer. The media shows us people who have survived cancer and go on to run a marathon or write a best seller. What you don’t get to see is that those same people are often also left scarred, depressed and tired after months or years of intensive treatment. For many people with cancer, the end of treatment is a tough time. They’re no longer seeing their doctors and nurses as regularly and, on the surface, life appears to be returning to normal. They may be in remission or be looking forward to a long treatment break but they’re unlikely to be “all better now” or for a long time to come.

We know it can be tough to keep up the same level of support once treatment has finished but keep in mind that your friend or relative may be feeling especially lonely. Make sure to keep checking in and, if you can, make sure they still get the odd treat. Be ready to chat if they want to talk about how they’re feeling and remember that you don’t have to solve all their problems. Just being a good listener can be all that’s needed.

If you’re in your 20s, 30s or 40s, why not join us online? We’ve got a private Facebook group here, or you can follow us on Twitter or Instagram

young adult cancer conference

Getting connected

In 2016, Shine decided to go large and hold our first annual conference. With close to 100 people in attendance, it was a great day and for 2017 we decided to go bigger and better! Shine Connect was held on 20th May in London and was designed as a way for young adults from across the country to come together and connect for a day. With expert speakers and much more, it’s now one of our favourite events, and this year 120 people joined us. Take a read of Jen’s blog about the day – and get set to join us next year!

Connect 1I’m not sure there are many – in fact any – other cancer conferences that combine singing and cute dogs with dating advice and frank discussions about sex and relationships. And that’s what makes Shine Connect unique!

Shine supports a diverse group of young adults in their 20s, 30s and 40s with the unfortunate commonality of having had a diagnosis of cancer. Our needs differ vastly from the older cancer demographic and Shine Connect, Shine’s annual conference, works to address those needs. It is a conference both for young adults with cancer and for healthcare professionals looking to better support young adults with cancer.

Following an introduction from Shine Directors, Ceinwen and Emma, the day kicked off with a panel discussion – think Oprah, but without the tears. Three young adults living with a cancer diagnosis, Robin, Chris and Jess, spoke eloquently about a range of subjects and took questions from the audience. Topics included dealing with uncertainty and anxiety; managing your own feelings and needs alongside the needs of your partner, parents and wider family and friends; dating after cancer; and returning to your career or readjusting career plans. Far from being depressing, their discussion was a lively, funny, raw and honest. Pretty much every person I spoke to could identify with something that was discussed on the panel and many people felt it was one of the best sessions of the day. (NB: You can view the Facebook Live video of the panel here). 

Having cancer as a young adult is a lonely business, and more than once someone at the conference mentioned the frequency with which we hear ‘oh, you’re very young for cancer!’ at clinic appointments. Having the opportunity to listen to and talk with others who are also ‘too young for cancer’ is like being hugged many understanding, warm arms. For me, this first session really set the tone for the rest of the day.

Connect 4

Shine participants, Plus Ones and healthcare professionals came together

After the panel discussion, the conference attendees split into different sessions: building resilience, fertility after cancer, managing fatigue, and supporting children through an adult’s cancer. There was also a separate session for attendees who were the family/friends of a young adult with cancer, and a session about the needs of young adults with cancer for health care professionals. Over lunch (a super scrummy, healthy spread, followed by fruit or something a little more chocolaty if you preferred!) there was plenty of time to mingle and chat with others, and to swap tips gained from the various sessions. There was also a chance to talk to some of the other organisations that had stalls in the conference “market place”. These included Ellie’s Friends, a charity providing treats like days out and theatre tickets to young adults with cancer; the Lymphoma Association; Insurance With, a specialist travel insurance company for those with pre-existing medical conditions; and Maggie’s Centres. Look Good, Feel Better were there giving makeovers, while a couple of fabulous massage therapists set up downstairs and managed to give out 50 (!) free massages over the course of the day. Last, but definitely not least, Shine had invited Pets as Therapy to the conference, giving everyone who attended the chance to meet some very cute therapy dogs!


Connect 2

One of the therapy dogs gets some love from a Connect participant!

The afternoon session saw some of the morning sessions repeated but there were also new sessions on sex, singing, and creativity in health. More than one person told me how difficult it had been to choose! Along with the majority of afternoon attendees, I went to the interactive sex session (that’s interactive as in talking about sex, in case you were wondering!) Led by the amazingly frank and funny Karen Hobbs and Dr Isabel White, a leading specialist in sexual problems related to cancer treatment, a range of issues were discussed, from physical limitations due to treatment, to chemically induced menopause. It was refreshing to focus on an area that is generally neglected by the medical profession.

Sex after cancer

Dr. Isabel White and Karen Hobbs hosted a great (and funny!) sex after cancer session

The day was rounded off with a fascinating keynote speech from Professor Mark Petticrew, a global expert in public health at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, who has carried out extensive research into psychological factors and whether they influence cancer and heart disease. During my own experience of cancer and recovery, the questions of how a ‘stressful’ life might have contributed to my diagnosis, and whether emotional stress might hinder recovery, were often brought up. Professor Petticrew’s research showed, however, that there is very little convincing evidence that stress causes cancer and that many of the studies on stress and cancer are seriously flawed. It was an interesting note to end on given that so many of us worry that we have done something to cause our cancer. There’s no need to get stressed out about this too!

Mark P

Prof Mark Petticrew from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine

If you go to Shine’s website you’re able to listen to some fabulous podcasts of ‘Not Your Grandma’s Cancer Show’. Shine Connect could have been called ‘Not Your Grandma’s Cancer Conference’. It’s certainly unique in the cancer world. If you weren’t able to attend this year I strongly recommend you keep an eye out for Shine Connect 2018; who knows what fun will be added next year!


It definitely takes a village to make these events happen and we’d like to send massive thanks to TTA, the amazing events management company who helped us pull Shine Connect off for the second year in a row! Huge thanks also to Don’t Forget the Kids, Emily Hodge of Coaching Emily, Toby Peach and Tenovus Cancer Care for delivering some fabulous sessions at the conference! We’d also like to send a huge shout out to Look Good, Feel Better for running some great make-over sessions, and Keith and Rozalia from the Complementary Therapy Department at the Royal Free Hospital for giving free massages to our participants all day!

Supporting the supporters of young adults with cancer – our first Shine Plus Ones workshop

Back in March, Shine held its first Shine Plus Ones workshop (we meant to publish this blog sooner – but we’ve been busy!). It was a great day and we were really happy to put some faces to the names we’ve come to know via email and social media over the last Plus Ones 5couple of years!  In our latest blog, Salma, one of the participants, explains how the day went down. We’re really keen to expand our Plus Ones group so if you’d like to get involved, drop us an email at, or join our Shine Plus Ones Facebook group. The Plus Ones have also been meeting up for drinks in London and the more the merrier so please do get in touch!

From it’s 18th Century origins, the beautiful Somerset House by Waterloo Bridge has been a centre for debate and discussion.  How fitting then that a group of strangers should meet here to talk of something that is rarely given the platform it deserves.
Back in March, Shine held its first Shine Plus Ones workshop.  We are the other half of Shine – or in better terms the other halves.
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The wonderful Shine Cancer Support has helped and continues to support thousands of young people with cancer through it’s meetings, retreats, social events, blogs, Facebook pages, Twitter feeds – and much much more.  But behind each of these people is someone who keeps it all together, day in day out, the spouse, the partner, the sibling, the parents……We are the Plus Ones and we sometimes need help too.
Public transport did it’s best to delay and reroute us but we are not a bunch to give up lightly and eventually all 22 participants managed to make it to Central London for the workshop.
Tirelessly organised and led by Ceinwen, Emma and psychologist Jason, the day began gently.  We’d never met each other before and none of us, we discovered, are that good at talking about this stuff.

We all provide care and support for our loved ones but how do you stand next to someone with cancer and say “Hold on – what about me?”.   You just can’t do it – unless that is, you are in a room full of people who feel exactly the same way.  And this is the genius of the Shine Plus Ones group: we all get it.  There is no judgment here, you’re allowed to say that you are angry with the person you are caring for, you are allowed to say you feel depressed or that you feel you’re being treated unfairly.  These little things are actually huge.

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Some of the ways our Plus Ones deal with stress

The day was cleverly arranged to get us thinking and talking.  It was invaluable to be able to give and receive advice to and from each other.  Jason is the one though who bound the day together; his personal and professional experience really cleared the haze for most of us.  As a psychologist, he really helped us to separate what are thoughts and what are realities, and he gave us tools to deal with our stresses and anxieties and taught us to be kind to ourselves. He made it ok to have a bad day.
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The workshop gang went for drinks afterwards. They’re now meeting up regularly.

At the end of it, we had a network, an email list and a few phone numbers.  Some of us have met up already since that day – a noisy table in a crowded bar where we blended in with all the other noisy tables of people laughing and drinking.  We don’t need to talk about cancer, we don’t need to cry or shout or talk deeply about anything – but the point is that we can if we want to, and we all know it.  There is another meet up planned and there will be many more.  And hopefully our group of friends will grow over time – not because it’s a nice club to be a part of, but because out of all this chaos and heartache it’s a huge comfort to know you’re not alone.

To find out more about Shine Plus Ones, please email us on, or request to join our private Facebook group. This workshop was made possible through the support of our fabulous friends at Travel Insurance Facilities

Bowel cancer at 32: Life, but not as you knew it

April is Bowel Cancer Awareness month, so in our latest blog post, we’re bringing you a blog by Cara, a Shine member who was diagnosed with bowel cancer shortly after she turned 32.  Currently undergoing treatment, Cara is passionate about raising awareness of bowel cancer and its symptoms, as well as sharing her experience of treatment. Please do share this blog with others and, as always, let us know what you think!

As April is bowel cancer awareness month I am asking this:

#Isitok that on average 2,500 young people in the UK are diagnosed with bowel cancer every year and that many of these individuals experience a delayed diagnosis? A delayed diagnosis that stems from a perception that in your 20s and 30s you’re too young to possibly have bowel cancer?

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Guest blogger, Cara

I decided to write this blog post because that is exactly the situation I found myself in 14 months ago when I was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer and I hope that by sharing my story I can raise awareness of the disease and make people stop and think. After all, nine out of 10 people survive bowel cancer if it is caught in the early stages and the key to this is early diagnosis. My advice is that if you have a concern and it’s not normal for you, don’t be embarrassed speak to your GP about it. We all know our own bodies and you know when something just isn’t quite right.

A little about me……

At 32 years old I found myself staring cancer in the face like an insurmountable challenge that I didn’t know if I was strong enough to tackle. It had taken 10 months to reach a diagnosis and when I speak to other people my age with bowel cancer I’m not alone in having been told we are just ‘too young to have cancer’.

My cancer story started when I decided to pay a visit to my GP because I was slightly concerned that there were some changes in my bowel habits and I was experiencing abdominal cramps. A routine blood test showed that I was anaemic and the GP made a referral. Looking back now the anaemia explained the tiredness I had been dismissing for months as something that just happens when you “turn 30” – something which now makes me chuckle as if reaching 30 puts you on some slippery slope to the realms of being an OAP!

Before I knew it, we were six months down the line with no answers as to why I was anaemic, and with the suggestion that the pain and anaemia were both down to period pain. During this time, I also had to deal with the death of my father. It was a difficult time, but as I dealt with my grief, my life began to get back to some sort of normal. I was going to the gym, going out with my friends and I even took part in a charity cycle from London to Paris with work.

However, as the weeks passed I found myself being unable to keep pace with my friends. Little did I know that my anaemia had slowly been getting worse and that lurking in my colon was a growing tumour. Just before Christmas, after a couple more visits and chats with the GP, I found out that my red blood count had fallen dangerously low and that my doctors were considering a blood transfusion. A test on a stool sample discovered blood that wasn’t visible to naked eye and I was quickly referred for a colonoscopy. That was when I knew I had cancer. I had seen this before when my father had been diagnosed. From that point my diagnosis happened very quickly but what I still couldn’t get my head around was why, with my family history of cancer, the faecal test wasn’t done at the beginning alongside everything else. It’s still something that I question today.

Since my diagnosis I have faced 14 months of endless hospital appointments, blood tests, seven hour days in the chemo unit, major surgery and blood clots, and while I would love to say I am at the stage of moving from cancer patient into the ‘life after cancer phase’, my post-chemotherapy scan showed lesions on my liver and the cycle has begun all over again. I am now undergoing a more aggressive chemotherapy which involves the joy of a ‘cold cap’ in a vain attempt to save my hair!

Another twist in my tale…..I have Lynch Syndrome…..

Lynch syndrome is the most common form of hereditary colon cancer and can increase the risk of developing colon cancer by up to 80%. Statistics make it as common as the BRCA mutation, but many people won’t have heard of it. Being in active treatment, I haven’t been able to fully address the impact that Lynch syndrome could have on my future, but I know that when the time comes it will have an impact on decisions about children and also that there will be decisions to make about having preventive procedures. While it would be very easy to think that knowledge of this mutation could have helped to detect my cancer earlier, I can’t change the past. I do believe though that knowledge is power and, that by ensuring I get right screening, I can minimise my risk of developing another cancer in the future.

What I have learned….

Dealing with a chronic disease forces you to develop a certain superhero strength…but that’s not to say that there aren’t difficult days or days where I feel so overwhelmed by it all that I don’t know how I going to make it through the next bit of treatment. Cancer will change me, but how is not yet fully clear. I’ve been told that I am so strong to be able to deal with everything that I am going through ………personally I don’t think I’m anything out of the ordinary. I think we all have superhero strength within all of us. It’s like the saying goes: ‘you don’t know how strong you can be until being strong is your only option’.

Cara works as a buyer in the womenswear department of a major UK retailer. She volunteers as a Cancer Research UK Campaigns Ambassador and claims to have an unhealthy addiction to travel literature and anything travel or adventure related! You can follower her on Twitter @Caraeliz24.